Losing parents too young

Samblue 1 year ago

3 replies

I am 27 years old and I’ve lost both my parents in the last 5 years. My wonderful mother passed this October a couple days after my birthday. Since then I feel like I’ve been in a daze. My mental health has always been a struggle and my mum was always my safe place. Her cancer spread very quickly after being well treated for a couple of years. I have been her carer for the passed couple years but before that my younger brother was helping before he moved out. I don’t think I’ve processed anything and I feel so lonely. I don’t feel safe opening up to anyone yet and everything is so raw and I just want my Mum. Has anyone else lost a parent young to cancer that could give me some hope for the future?

admin 1 year ago

Hi Samblue,

I am so sorry to read about recent death of your mum, and how that means you have now lost both of your parents. It sounds like mum was a very special person to you, being your safe space and rock. Grief can bring with it so many feelings and emotions and it can be very normal to feel like everything is a daze in these early days of your loss. 

Everybody takes a different amount of time to process their loss and this can be a safe space for you to share how you are feeling. Hopefully others will share their experiences of loss and grief with you. In the mean time you may find this videos and information here on our website helpful: Stages of grief: Are the five stages of grief true? | Marie Curie

We just want to let you know that our Support Line is open every day over the festive period and you are very welcome to reach out to us on Freephone 0800 090 2309.

Best wishes

Brigette 

Yvonne1 4 days ago

Hi Samblue

The loss of a Parent is an extremely traumatic experience, and I am saddened to read you have lost both your Parents within a very short period of time.

I can empathize completely on how you have been feeling following your dear Mum`s passing.  I too lost my Mum at age 19, having cared for her for six years.  My Father passed suddenly eight years later.

What I can say is that with time, the memories of your Parents will become less painful and happy times you shared will return, rather than the grief and feeling of loss.  Talking is good, and sharing your inner-most thoughts, so please be reassured you can use this forum at any time or contact the Support Line if you prefer.

Thank you for reaching out.

Yvonne

LauraMC1 4 days ago

Hi Samblue,

I am so sorry to hear about the recent death of your Mum. Losing both your parents in a short space of time at a young age is extremely challenging. 

Its completely understandable that you are struggling to process your grief, it is such a lot to take in. 
It sounds as though you had a wonderful relationship with your Mum, having her as your safe place is such a huge thing to lose.

You asked for hope for the future. My Dad died of MS when I was 6 and consequently my Mum became everything to my brothers and I. She was my safe place and my go to person for everything. She died of cancer when I was 35 and I have to confess I was absolutely heartbroken. I am now 12 years on and my love for her and my wish that she was still here is always part of me. 

But in terms of hope and I do want to give you hope, I have not only survived but I have built a wonderful, fulfilled life full of love and joy. It has not been easy and I will always be grieving but I have also come to see that my Mum still lives on in myself and those around me who were part of her life. She was an incredible person who taught me so much and left so much inspiration and love behind her. 

I hope that this does give you hope.

But I would also like to say be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself. 
Take good care and thank you for sharing.
Warmest wishes,
Laura (part of the Marie Curie Information and Support Team)