Hello

H3lp 1 day ago

1 reply

Am new here so hello everyone. I lost my mum to cancer in October and although she had been in and out of hospital for over a year and we were lucky enough to have our last Christmas and birthday with her it has not been easy. I went back to work after only two weeks because I need routine in my life due to poor mental health but I can't help but feel like I am letting her and my dad who passed almost 9 years ago down. I have a younger sister and brother who I promised I would look after but to be honest we are all adults even if my brother doesn't act like it. It is only me and him left in the house now and it is a constant battleground because he will not take responsibility for himself. My sister keeps saying I should let him fend for himself and maybe I should but I can't since I promised mum I would look after him. I guess I am looking for some reassurance that I am doing the right thing but I know I have to prioritise myself and my mental health over anything and anyone else. 

Hannah11 6 hours ago

Hello H3lp, 

Welcome to the Online Community. Thank you for sharing with us today. 

I'm sorry to read about the loss of your mum and all you have been experiencing since. 

It can be difficult to let someone take care of themselves if we have made a promise to help, as your brother is an adult he is able to make decisions around his life and wellbeing even if you feel they may not be the best ones. We appreciate this can be hard. 

Prioritising someone else needs and forgetting that our own needs are important too can be very easy to do. There are times where we have to prioritise own health and wellbeing. This is not a selfish thing to do.

It sounds like the loss of your mum has been understandably tough for you and it's not unreasonable for you to need to take some time to process and focus on your mental health. 

Our Online Community is here for you and we hope others will read your post and share their experiences too. 

You can also always call our Support Line on 0800 090 2309 7 days a week if you feel you would ever like to chat. 

Take care, 

Hannah - Support Line Officer