Caring for terminally ill husband

Drosie 1 month ago

5 replies

My husband is 52 and was diagnosed with aggressive prostrate cancer last year . We are now at the stage where we only have a short time left. I absolutely love my husband but it’s emotionally devastating me watching him decline. I will do anything to help him but feel useless to help when I see the constant deterioration. Everyone says be strong but it’s getting harder.I’m just wondering if anyone has been through similar?

Supportdd 1 month ago

in the same position as you , im so exhausted and yes its heartbreaking to see a very capable man decline so much 

Chrismarshall89 1 month ago

In the same position I'm completely heartbroken I've been with my mum helping her through her cancer battle for the last five years now after going downhill rapidly the last few months she's unable to do anything for herself is in bed all the time has stopped being able to communicate properly just either mumbles or makes noises has stopped eating and the last few days because she has had something added to her syringe driver to keep her calm she's been unable to eat or even wake up enough to be able to drink I've been trying to get her to drink something if she wakes up for a few minutes but she's so confused and out of it it's really hard to get her to drink anything ..when I spoke to the nurses about it they said ..well it's just what happens but I have been determined to try and help her drink something each day yesterday i got her to manage to take a few sips and today I managed too get her to take some fluid in a syringe only a few ml but i figure its better than nothing....I'm so heartbroken to see her like this.

admin 8 days ago

Hi Drosie,

We’re sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis and all you’re going through. 

It’s understandable that you’re finding it emotionally devastating watching your husband decline, especially because you love him so much. 

Everyone's experience of caring for someone is different and can involve dealing with a mix of feelings. There's no right or wrong way to feel, but there are people and organisations who can help. We have further information that you may find helpful on our website here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/helping-someone-cope/dealing-with-feelings.

Please know that we’re here for you on our Online Community and are pleased other members have shared their experience with you too.

Take care, 

Marie Curie Online Community Team 

admin 8 days ago

Hello Supportdd,

We’re sorry to read that you’re in a similar position to Drosie, thank you for taking the time to respond to their post. 

We’re also here for you on our Online Community, and Support Line if you need a safe space to talk 💛

admin 8 days ago

Edited by admin 8 days ago

Hello Chrismarshall89,

We’re sorry to read about your mum and all that you’re going through as a family. 

It can be a difficult and emotional experience when we see the ones we love deteriorate. 

If you would like to speak to a nurse about what’s happening and ask any questions, we have an Information and Support Nurse available to talk to on our Support Line. You can call us for free on 0800 090 2309 or book a call using this form and we can arrange for our nurse to call you. 

If it’s helpful we have some information about syringe drivers, including a short video on our website that you can find here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/medication-pain-relief/syringe-drivers. 

Take care,

Marie Curie Online Community Team