My dad has T4N2C1 lung cancer

KirstyT 4 days ago

4 replies

Edited by KirstyT 4 days ago

My dad who is 75 has been told he has stage4 lung cancer that has spread to his other lung and lymph nodes, incurable as they say. We are waiting on his appointment with his oncologist to see which treatment he can have, in himself he is fit and well but has started with a cough in the last week or so, I was talking to his care nurse today who said she would say he has only 6months to live and with treatment 12months. Obviously, this is not what we wanted to hear as I've been reading more posative stories of how the treatments can contain/shrink people's tumors, and they live years some as long as 7. My dad's tumor is 9cm which is obviously large but I was hoping someone else has a similar diagnosis and can give me some hope that this can go past 6months. Thank you to anyone who could shed some light on to this dark time.

Daffodil 3 days ago

Edited by Daffodil 3 days ago

We are so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer, Kirsty. I am answering you as a Marie Curie volunteer, but also as someone who has experienced something very similar a couple of years ago. Receiving a diagnosis and trying to figure out what to do next can be overwhelming. Personally, I was not braced for the uncertainties that came with my father's diagnosis, and I, too, turned to Marie Curie for support.

One good place to get information is the Marie Curie website, which you may have seen already (https://www.mariecurie.org.u k/)? I also found the Support Line a very good place to turn to, whether to ask for information or to have a safe space to talk about everything that was going on. The Marie Curie Support Line is available from 8am to 6pm Monday through Friday and 10am to 4pm at weekends. The phone number is 0800 090 2309, and there are also other options including the online chat and email (for details see https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/services/support-line). Of course, please feel free to write again here, too, and I hope that others will feel comfortable to share their experiences.

Take good care,

💛 Anke, a Member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team

KirstyT 3 days ago

Thank you I have all this info already, i was just hoping to see if there was anyone out there who has/is gone/going through the same type of cancer as my dad either themselves or a family member who could say if they had any luck with treatment ect or just any positives out of all the negatives.

Marla 2 days ago

Hi KirstyT

'I see from your response you're looking to hear from other people who have been through a similar position, and I hope they see your message and share their experience with you too, but I thought I would also respond in case it's helpful to you and your dad'?

Thank you for reaching out to us. My name is Marla; I am a nurse on the Information & Support Line. Whilst I am not permitted to give you advice, I can pull on my knowledge and experience to offer some support and suggestions that you may find helpful.

I am so sorry that your dad has received such awful news about his diagnosis, that must have been incredibly difficult for you both to hear and begin to process. May I suggest when you next meet with your dad’s care nurse and oncologist you have an open and honest discussion (if you feel able to) and ask about the likely prognosis they have given and why they have given this. You may have already done this. In my experience they both will have had an extensive amount of experience in this disease field which enables them to give background information on the explanations they have and will give you.

In my experience, prognosis is a guide to when things may change and possibly deteriorate, everyone is very different in how they respond to the disease itself, and the treatment received if they have had it. You could have two people with the same disease and at the same stage of the disease with completely different outcomes, whilst diseases can have a somewhat predictable pathway, this may not always be the case. As an example, there can sometimes be a sudden or unexpected change such as an acute medical event or someone may outlive their expected prognosis, there is no definitive answer unfortunately. Also, they will take into account any predisposing medical conditions your dad may have that could possibly impact his disease. 

I hope you find my response of some help, if you want to talk about this or anything else that may be on your mind then the Information & Support line offer a listening ear and a safe space for you to do so. You can contact us by phone on 0800 090 2309 or via email and webchat. Take care.

Marla

KirstyT 2 days ago

Thank you Marla