Dealing with a change in my dads treatment

KatieGee 1 day ago

2 replies

Hi everyone, I’m new here :) My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus in March 2022. Since then he’s responded really well to a series of different treatments, we’ve had ups and downs with side effects but generally he’s done so well which I feel is down to his super positive attitude and the support of the people around him. A couple of weeks ago he heard that the treatment he was on had stopped working and they’ve moved him on to a tablet based one. He’s really struggling with the side effects of the drugs he’s taking, he’s sleeping a lot and not feeling very well at all and it’s the first time I’ve really struggled with it. It’s so hard seeing him so down and such a deterioration in his quality of life. I’ve taken a couple of days off work to get my head straight but wondered if anyone had any ideas for keeping yourself strong through these difficult times. He’s speaking to his Oncologist in the next few days to see if he wants to continue with the drugs he’s taking but not sure what other options he has.
Look forward to connecting with a few people.

Marla 1 day ago

Edited by Marla 1 day ago

Hi Katie

Thank you for reaching out to us today. My name is Marla, I am a nurse with the information and support line and whilst I am not permitted to give you advice my background is a ward-based nurse within the hospice so can pull on my knowledge and experience to try and support/sign post you.

I am sorry you and your dad are having such a difficult time now. Has your dad spoken to anyone regarding the side effects such as the oncology team or GP? It may be helpful to talk to your dad about how he is feeling and what you could do to help support him if you haven’t already had this conversation with him? Keeping the conversation open and honest can help navigate what is important to both you and your dad. The discussion and decision around continuing with the drugs he is taking will undoubtedly bring about difficult thought processes and reflections depending on what else if anything is available to him.

For you Katie, it will be important to talk about how you are feeling and coping. Do you have any support from any family or friends that you are able to be open and honest with about your worries/concerns? Being able to talk through those concerns can help with lessening the emotional internal burden that we can carry when we have no outlet. Also, if able to you could discuss with a specialist nurse involved in your dad’s care, they can often offer and sign post additional support for loved ones as well as patients. Are your work supportive? Have they offered additional support/advice such as the Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) who can help with counselling should you want or need it?

I hope you find these suggestions helpful, if you feel the need to talk further you can call the information and support line at any time (0800 090 2309), we can offer you a safe space for you to talk about what you need to and are here to listen. Please come back to us at any point should you want or need to. Take care.

Marla

KatieGee 1 day ago

Thank you so much Marla, this is really helpful. Yes dad has got some really great support and his Oncologist is back from holiday in the next few days so he’s going to request a telephone appointment with him then. I have a really strong support network myself, I’m usually the one supporting them and don’t like to bring my own problems to the table but think I need to come out of my comfort zone as I know they’d want to help, I’m actually with my best friend this weekend so we’ll have plenty of opportunity to chat. My workplace is very supportive and my manager more than I could wish for. I guess it’s just navigating the next part of the journey :) I’d not thought of speaking to my dad about how I can help, I get to see him as much as I can as I know it lifts his spirits and I’ve planned to go paddleboarding on Friday with my stepmum as she is exhausted and want to make sure she gets some down time too doing something we love, just got to hope the weather stays nice 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 Thank you again, K