Khandarohi 1 year ago

Edited by Khandarohi 1 year ago

A very common problem when you are dying is that people pull at you.

You get into a tranquil safe space of acceptances, peace & even joy. Then people are pulling you out of that in ways such as:

Taking your blood pressure.
Asking you to try extreme medical treatments
Asking you to try alternative therapies
Asking for updates
Asking for meetings
Asking for phone contact
T rying to put a cheerful story into your head and remove your current thoughts which are working very well
Asking you to fight and saying you are wrong to go palliative

admin 1 year ago

Hello Khandarohi,

It’s heartwarming to hear that you’re finding a safe space of acceptances, peace and joy.

We’re sure that the list of things that you’ve shared there will resonate with lots of people who are experiencing terminal illness. Many people tell us that it can be a huge help to have a primary person who every goes to for updates, thank you for sharing that tip with the members of our community.

We have information on our website about planning your care in advance, in case you, or any others find it helpful to read when thinking about what is important to them: Advance care planning | Gold Standard Framework.

Take care,

Marie Curie Online Community Team. 

Khandarohi 1 year ago

How to not be afraid of death.

Normally we associate stopping breathing with gasping & desperately trying to get oxygen or suffocation. But death is not like this.

The reason why our breathing slows as we are dying is because our body doesnt need the oxygen anymore. Our blood can be filled with oxygen but our body is not using it. This is why there is no suffocation & its just like relaxing and comfortable for most people.

Our body gradually does less and less tasks and it needs less and less. It needs less food, less water and less oxygen. So there is no desperation or deprivation of any of these things. Its like when you are asleep. If you sleep for 16 hours a day you will need less food less water less oxygen than someone walking around for 18 hours a day.

The death rattle is simply because there is a bit of saliva or mucus on the air passage. Its not a sign of struggle. Its just because the person hasn't swallowed for a while. Just like these do not impede you during sleep they will not impede you during this incredibly deep sleep. And if you have been surrounded by kindness..the dreams in this deep relaxing sleep with be of all the recent beautiful people you have met & who have shone their love into your life and heart. I hope this helps you xxxxxxxxx

Clare 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Khandarohi. Seeing what you have personally found helpful may assist others when thinking about what they would want to do or how they can help someone they are caring for.

Take care,

Clare – Support Line Team

oreo 1 year ago

Dear Khandarohi,

Thank you so much for writing this. I have AML and just had my fourth relapse. I was looking for guidance from someone going through the sim ilar thing. I’m so happy I found your notes! Your words are so relatable, and they make me feel less alone.

Thank you!